Summary 2

A best friend told me yesterday that I have never looked happier.

It's the truth. I've never been happier. If all of my life I have been seeking the Great Reward (whatever it may be) by means of hard work in a dog-eat-dog world, I've finally achieved that reward. I generally dislike self-help, systematic advice, but this is a simpler task than it sounds:

Step 1: Fail at everything
Step 2: Achieve a state of failure
Step 3: See beauty in everything and everyone

If you want to boil these steps down into one direction, it is this: Prioritize the self last in all decisions and thinking.

I do a lot of condemning toward the middle class and American dream approach and it's just about time that instead of being bitter, I just start hurting with that particular demographic. To laugh and cry together is to experience a harmonious life.

When you think like a child (as Christ teaches), you approach everything as an opportunity. An opportunity to learn. An opportunity to experience. An opportunity to be loved.

I have less money and more debts than I have for years. Instead, I have people and journeys. I am bound to nothing and I love the liberation. I recognize my responsibilities and consider them opportunities to learn and benefit others.

I am not saying all of this to ramble or word vomit. I realized that since I have returned from the trip with Paul and Mike, I have become a person of inner tranquility. Many say the goal of life is to find inner peace and contentment. I say the goal of life is simply to live. "Living" entails not allowing anything to hold you back. If you want to go to Korea, you go to Korea. If you want to swim in the ocean, go to the ocean. If you want to marry a hot Brazilian chick, wander the rain forest and make a selection. But when all of these things are pursued, placing the good of others ahead of the good of the self will be the only way to accomplish the task.

I started playing hardcore again and I recently played my first heavy music show in 7 months. I am so glad to be in a band. I feel that everyone else in bands tries to get their band somewhere, whether it be fame or getting signed or having cool merchandise or touring. I don't want to care about any of that progress. I just want to love playing the music. Whether we tour or don't tour, I will be content. Whether we have shirts or don't, I will enjoy myself. To make the best of something simply means to enjoy it despite what is going on outside of one's self, not to change the external environment. What I do know is that plans are for the weak and those who fear. I do not fear future because earth is one giant experiment and the only boundaries are the walls we create in our minds.