Day 5 - Hays KS

Since my youth, I've always pushed myself. People call it being a perfectionist. There was a time when I was at a summer camp and I had one mean counselor and one nice counselor. The nice counselor told us if we needed to wake someone up in the middle of the night, he would understand that we might be more comfortable waking him up rather than the mean guy. All of his kids in the past woke him up instead of the mean counselor, simply due to fear. Later that week, I woke up at midnight and had to throw up. I wanted to be the bigger man and push myself so I took the chance of waking up the mean counselor first.

Today was the first day of maybe my entire life since early childhood that I lived without a goal, without trying to push myself. I just woke up and then whatever happened happened. It was the first day that my perfectionism did not show up. I fully accepted the place I was in.

I decided getting out of the room and experiencing life in Hays might be worthwhile, so I got online to find what kind of entertainment was in town. Apparently, Hays is home of the largest shopping center in western Kansas. It is about half of the size of the North Hanover Mall in my hometown. Pitiful, haha. When we were hanging out in one of the stores, Paul commented on the phone to someone that we were stuck in "some place called Hays, Kansas" and one of the employees overheard him and giggled.

We saw the Will Smith movie that is out called "Seven Pounds." I don't think this is the appropriate forum for a movie review, but I will say that I enjoyed it, personally. If you want my thoughts because you are considering whether you want to see it, feel free to ask. If not, I'll spare you the irrelevant ramblings.

As the sun set while we were in the theatre, the temperature also dropped significantly. We ran across town back to the hotel because we were freezing.

When we got back I took a book into the bar/restaurant in our hotel. I took a booth, started reading, and occasionally looked up to check the score of the Boise St/TCU football game. After finishing one chapter, I decided to move locations into the lounge area around the pool just for a change in background ambiance.

The book I'm reading is one that I traded with Katy before I left about this guy who takes it upon himself to live as an urban homeless guy. I don't agree with all of his approaches and mindsets about everything, or at least the way he explains things, but it's definitely inspiring. I think my next adventure will have to be joining the complexity of America's urban poor society. It's a really fascinating and challenging thought, and just reading about it (from this book and others) ignites a huge flame in my heart. Maybe this summer I'll have to spend some time in the streets. Witness real life. You know, Christlike outreach. Authentic ministry. A lot of mentors and family and friends would probably advise against it, which I understand also. But it's something I want to do someday, so should I let something hold me back from it? Is that how we should live life?

I really don't have many profound thoughts today. I might not even have any. Maybe it's because I didn't push myself today. I didn't try to succeed. I just lived. It's the first time that I've got the full 8 hours of sleep for two days in a row in a very long time. All I know is that I woke up, did stuff, and now I'm going to sleep; God is good because He gave us Christ and for now, anyway, that should suffice.

Hopefully the part for the Audi will arrive tomorrow morning and we will be on the road again. If not, it may be as late as the end of the week that we are able to depart from here. Nothing I can do at this point besides take what is given to me and give what is given to me.